In Which I Enter A Competition

I've taken the plunge and entered a writing competition!

Elle magazine is running a competition and has asked people to submit a 500 word piece entitled "My Rebellion".

I thought you guys might like a looksie .......

My Rebellion

By Jenni Richardson

Who doesn't secretly want to be a rebel? To shock, to appal and to live a life without rules?  This Autumn's catwalks are celebrating all things rebellious with Versace's 'Vunk' & YSL's tartan tribute giving a nod (Pogo?) to the punk movement and 90s Gen-X grunge.

When Elle asked readers to submit a piece entitled "My Rebellion" my mind began whirring as to all the possibilities of what I could write, too young to remember grunge and far too early to have partaken in punk I felt left out by my generation's comfort and lack of reasons to rebel. 

Then I realised, I am a rebel, I have rebelled every single day for the last six years. My rebellion is not in your face or shocking, most people would never even notice it. My rebellion is against my twin nemesis' depression & anxiety.

In Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland Alice's remembers her father's advice to "Think of as many as seven impossible things before breakfast", after a small calculation I've worked out that I commit 4 pretty major acts of rebellion before 9am each day.

Challenge #1 is to drag myself out of bed, depression exhausts me and tells me I need to sleep and cannot possibly cope with a full day at work. After crawling out of bed comes Challenge #2 making myself look presentable. A kind side effect of my anti-depressant medication is the huge increase in appetite and ability to put on weight by standing with in 10 foot of food. Thanks to this I have a little more of me to dress than style would dictate which makes sartorial decisions doubly difficult. This coupled with my depression chanting that I shouldn't bother dressing nicely as I'll look like a wilder beast is not the most helpful of combinations.

Challenge #3 is the big one, venturing "out there". Anxiety plays her hand here, Depression is sneaky and sly whereas Anxiety gets her point across loudly and by squeezing my insides and drumming on my brain. She wants me to stay inside and hide. Having hurdled #3 it's a short leap to Challenge #4 interacting with people in the office. On a day when I'm very down the thought of talking to people or answering the phone seems nigh on impossible but I grit my teeth and do it, ignoring depression trying to smother my thoughts and actions. Besides the daily challenges I occasionally really stretch myself, like marching myself alone to London to watch my favourite band play a flash-mob gig (Pretty rock n roll huh?).

So whilst I may not quite be your typical non-conformist I reckon I can rebel with the best of them. Now excuse me, I'm off to play my worn copy of Nevermind ……loudly!
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