"I've heard that you're settled down, that you found a girl"
When I'm wandering around the racks in the library at work the last thing I expect is to bump into my ex-fiancee.
Turns out that, like me, he's now working on the staff bank and had in fact started the day before. We had the normal "how's the family?" catch up and it was so weirdly un-awkward. I won't go into the ins and outs of our break-up, I imagine you're all familiar with the story.
"guess she gave you things I didn't give to you"
I know through the grapevine that Adi's had girlfriends since we broke up, not a shock seeing that it's been 5 years (last month in fact) since we parted! I've even passed him in town with one of them a couple of years ago.
He mentioned yesterday that he was with one of the prep clerks upstairs who'd gotten him the job. That was a bit weird I must admit, hearing him actually telling me about someone occupying the place I used to. I guess what makes it a bit more of a wrench is that I probably know her by sight and there's now the possibility of seeing them together.
"I'd hoped you'd see my face and realise that for me it isn't over"
So why, after 5 years 2 weeks and 1 day is this still such a big deal to me? I wonder if perhaps, because there was so much else going on at the time supporting Helen when she was unwell, that aside from a day of crying I didn't properly mourn the passing of 6 and a half years of a relationship.
"don't forget me I pray"
I guess I was looking for some kind of acknowledgment that I still meant something, even if it was just a tiny flicker, to him. Even if it was just as a good memory.
"I wish nothing but the best for you"
When I was turning the meeting over in my head after I got back to the office I realised what a psycho ex I must have come across as! Hugging him the moment I saw him and then letting fly a "we'll have to have lunch sometime, I'll email you" when two minutes earlier he'd been telling me about his girlfriend!!!!
The thing is that I have no interest in getting back together with him. We broke up for a reason, which hasn't changed. I think the weirdest thing is encountering him in the very spot I was working when we split. The racks I'd hidden down whilst crying.
I was genuinely happy when he told me that he was with someone and that they'd helped get him the job. He's a great guy and deserves to be happy. I'm the one with the can't-even-catch-a-cold but doesn't really want to anyway issues. It was just quite an unsettling experience, running into my past quite so suddenly.
Plus I'd also like to point out, I WAS AT THE HOSPITAL FIRST!!!!
Love Jen
XxxX
