Arise Sir Cromwell

The handsome fella at the top of the page is Cromwell (aka Crommie or the walking teddy bear as I prefer to call him). He's a Bichon Friese belonging to Ruth a friend of my Mum's and I've been walking him a few days a week whilst she recovers from surgery.

He's absolutely adorable and so well behaved, we like to walk up to the river near me and watch the ducks. According to Ruth he's very particular about who walks him and will often refuse to go out with anyone other than Ruth. For some reason he's really taken to me and is happy to tour Langney playing "Sniff the lamposts" bingo.

Walking him is getting me out of the house too and frankly it's nice to still have something that I'm 'good' at so to speak. Especially after last week's letter from work helpfully detailing all the reasons why I'm on Performance Management and why I'm crap.

I had a follow up appointment with Occ Health on Wednesday and told the Dr there that whilst I try to avoid grandiose, dramatic statements I was hanging onto my sanity by a thin thread and that at this moment me going back to work would tip me right over the edge.

I have an appointment with the Community Mental Health Team on 30th December (my rant about the waiting time is another moan for another blog) to assess me and the meds that I'm on. I really, really hope that this appointment is more successful than my one two years ago where I was made to feel like a fraud and my symptoms belittled.

The Occ Health Dr has said that I won't be ready to return to work until after this appointment. Interestingly he also mentioned that the consultant that I see may be able to assess my cognitive function and try and identify any weaknesses I have that will affect my work.

Whilst I think it's a good idea it's also kind of scary, what if the result tells me that I'm not cut out for my job? It'll just be further ammunition for work to use against me. I'm already going to be under fire for being off for some long.

I'll admit it's a relief knowing that I have nearly 2 months worth of breathing space before I go back to work. But in some ways it makes me feel even more of a failure, my brain can't handle stress of any kind and just shatters completely. I also feel almost fraudulent when í'm physically well, almost like I'm skiving and my illness isn't real.

At the moment all I can do is wait for this low to lift and hope that one of my 'highs' comes along quickly to give me some relief. I know that with them comes increased anxiety and insomnia but I also get the super fun buzz which would be pretty welcome at the moment.

Love Jen
XxxX

25 Songs

The great thing about Pinterest is that people who know me often send me pins they know I'll love, take for example this pin that Helen sent me.

Now me being me I like to do things a lil differently and being a massive music lover I feel that I need to list these all at once in an excited frenzy! I'd love to see what songs any of you my lovely readers pick too, pop me a comment in the comments section or tweet me @JenRaeFrances or Facebook me if you're old skool! 

01. A Song From Your Childhood - My immediate answer to this one was to list one of the songs from the Lion King soundtrack but I've saved that for another answer (reasons will become apparent). So I'm actually going to list the Christmas carol Away In A Manger here in order to make my parents smile/grimace. Like most kids I was crazy excited every Christmas Eve, one particular year when I was about 7/8 I just would not go to sleep, my poor parents were kept awake by the sound of me singing Away In A Manger through the baby monitor (I still shared a room with Chris then) at 5am, personally I think I was just keeping the Christmas spirit alive!

02. A Song That Reminds You Of Your Most Recent Ex-Boy/Girl Friend - God Only Knows by The Beach Boys, Adi used to sing this to make me laugh when I was having a bad day. Now when I hear it it just makes me sad,  it doesn't help that it's the BBC's Children In Need song this year so is everywhere!

03. A Song That Reminds You Of One/Both Of Your Parents - The song that reminds me of Dad is Pink Floyd -Comfortably Numb, it's his favorite song by his favorite band. I get my love of music from him and over the last few years I've come to really like and understand Floyd's music. When I hear their songs it reminds me of driving through France on holidays. The song that reminds me of Mum is The Streets - Fit But You Know It, we both like to sing this in the car and no matter how many times we hear it the "I think I'm going to fall over" at the end of the song never fails to crack us up. 

04. A Song That Calms You Down - I find most music can be mood altering or can intensify your mood, e.g a song that makes you really really happy. I don't really go in for "chill out" music so I guess the nearest I have to calming music would be something like Lana Del Ray or maybe Nirvana Unplugged In New York.

05. A Song That Is Often Stuck In Your Head - I'm one of these people who suffers badly from earworms so it's often a song I've heard over the last few hours/day or so. Today I've had "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?" from the movie Frozen stuck in my head due to the amount of snowman items popping up in shops!

06. A Song That Reminds You Of A Best Friend - I actually allocate songs to my nearest and dearest that remind me of them because music is so important to me it seems right that the people important to me get a song!

The song that reminds me of Helen is 30 Seconds To Mars - Closer To The Edge. We met because of 30STM and I will always be grateful to them and particularly this song that she's part of my life. Plus it's a tune and I'm technically in the video!

Any song from Muppet Treasure Island or Muppet Christmas Carol reminds me of Chris as we always love watching those films, however the song that sticks out is Marley & Marley from Muppet Christmas Carol as me and Chris were singing it loudly as we hung the Chrismas Decorations last year, leaving poor Vana with a slightly frightened expression!

Journey - Don't Stop Believing Is mine & Hilary's song, we follow the ritual of confirming that we can hear Journey and then running to the source of the music in order to enjoy it further!

Me and Lydia used to enjoy rousing renditions of Chris De Burgh - A Spaceman Came Travelling whilst waiting at the bus stop at college, these served to keep us warm on cold winter days and to embarrass Hilary!

Me and Rach share a guilty pleasure of Taylor Swift's Red album & We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together reminds me of driving to Brighton in her car with Helen attempting to defend her ears against my singing (this is unfortunately a common occurrence). 

Whenever I hear Lady GaGa - Bad Romance it reminds me of the amazing evening that me and Luke had at the Monster Ball in Feb 10. It was one of the best live shows I have ever been to and such good fun *paws up*

The Prodigy - Out Of Space brings back the evening not so long ago when Barry was teaching me the finer points of windmill dancing. 

Without James I would never have learned that the Thomas The Tank Engine Theme can be mixed with almost any song with genius results, trust me look it up on Youtube! 

The song that reminds me of Kay is the I Like To Move It song from Madagascar whenever we meet up one of us will start singing it! 

Me and Gem share a very similar musical taste but I'm going to say 30 Seconds To Mars - The Kill because you were the first person I knew who liked them too and we er watched this video a lot...... 

07. A Song That Reminds You Of The Past Summer - This is going to be a tie between two songs from two albums that I've really enjoyed listening to this summer, the first is End Of The World - Deap Valley and the other is Little Monster - Royal Blood.

08. A Song That Reminds You Of Your "First Love" - The answer to this will now explain my answer to question 1. I covered first and only boyfriend earlier on this list so I had to think about what my loves were growing up and aside from my many and varied collection of stuffed animals when I was a kid my other big love was music. The first music I really, really loved passionately was the Lion King Soundtrack which I still proudly have on my ipod. I've chosen Circle Of Life as that has always been my favorite song from the film and would still be in my top 10 favorite songs ever list! There's also a video of me and Chris singing it on a campsite in Dorset .... as you do ......

09. A Song That Makes You Hopeful - There's a few songs coming to mind for this one, all with very good reasoning. I think purely from a music snobbery point of view I'm going to go with Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit because of the kick up the arse it gave the music industry, making the world sit up and take notice of underground music. I'm therefore hopeful (see what I did there) that someone like them will come along soon and kill off One Direction! I also chose this because it's a song that really cheers me up when I'm having a bad day, Nirvana are my other favorite band and I felt they needed their own answer on this list. 

10. A Song By Your Favorite Band - Well you all know it's going to be a 30 Seconds To Mars song, I've chosen Attack as this was the song that piqued my interest in them. I just thought it was a really good song,  a different sound and a band I wanted to explore further. 16 concerts, 3 holidays, 5 Meet & Greet Photos and 2 tattoos down the line it's lucky I did really! 

11. A Song On The Soundtrack Of Your Favorite Movie - Since I've already covered The Lion King I now move onto my joint favorite movie Top Gun. I've loved Top Gun since the first time I saw it aged 10 and I'm not joking when I say I've probably watched it about 200 times. It has the perfect combination of planes, an awesome soundtrack brilliant cinematography oh and Tom Cruise in uniform! When I'm off to an airshow I always have this album on super loud, the song I've chosen from it is Cheap Trick - Mighty Wings which was played during the Tornado display during Airbourne one year, my favorite plane and favorite movie were combined at last!

12. The Last Song You Heard - Amy Winehouse - Back To Black whilst walking around Asda. Now that her songs aren't constantly being shoved down my throat on the radio I do quite like them. However her cover of Valerie isn't a patch on the original by The Zutons!

13. A Song That Reminds You Of A Former Friend - Green Day - Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) reminds me of Nat who passed away in 2008, we had quite different musical tastes but Green Day were one band we agreed on and this song and it's poignant lyrics "It's something unpredictable but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life" remind me of her. When I saw them live in 2009  I had to leave before they played this song at the end of the show as it was still too raw, I still struggle to listen to it today. 

14. A Song That Reminds You Of Your Boy/Girl Friend- errr yeah think we'll have to leave that one ...................

15. A Song You Love Singing Along To - 4 Non Blondes - What's Up Linda Perry has an amazing voice and you can really let rip singing along to this one, just make sure you're alone if your voice is as bad as mine!!!

16. A Song That Has Made You Cry - Hardly anything makes me cry but music is one thing that does. Loads of songs have caught me and bought me to tears in the past such as the Green Day song in question 13. My answer to this one will be quite surprising for a lot of people knowing my dislike of the band but it's Coldplay - Fix You. Firstly it's another song that Nat liked but would sometimes cry to and it also reminds me of Adi as he was a big Coldplay fan. It's a song about trying to help someone through their pain and ultimately I couldn't help Nat through hers so it always chokes me up and on occasion makes a tear or two leak out. 

17. A Song That Makes You Want To Dance - Jimi Hendrix - Purple Haze one of the best guitar riffs ever!!! I challenge you not to move when this comes wailing out of your speakers, I can't help but rock out to this one.

18. A Song You Love But Rarely Listen To - I have quite a few of these, a lot of time they are ones from the years I was at college because I was so happy and high then which can be a contrast to how I feel a lot of the time now. So on a bad day I can't listen to those songs. I'm going to pick Foo Fighters - Best Of You as this reminds me of the summer we finished college and they were headlining Reading Festival and it was just an awesome weekend. 

19. The First Song Alphabetically In Your iPod/iTunes - I'll go with my iPod as the iTunes on my laptop is the slowest thing in the world, in a race with a milk float (ask your parents kids) the milk float would win! Anyways I digress, the first song on my iPod is "A Bomb In Wardour Street" - The Jam.

20. The Last Song Alphabetically In Your iPod/iTunes - 93 Million Miles - 30 Seconds To Mars

21. Your Favorite Song - 30 Seconds To Mars - Kings & Queens This song can drag me out of the lowest mood and brings back so many happy memories, My favorite line is "In Defence Of Our Dreams" which is next on my list of tattoos to get. 

22. A Song That Someone Has Sung To You - Well aside from live concerts where you technically pay an artist to sing to you, or conversations with friends that go "It's the song that goes ......" or Helen's charming re-interpretations of various songs I don't think anyone has gone out of their way to sing to me. So I'm going to cheat a little and say Summer Nights from Grease which me, Lydia & Hilary have enjoyed perfecting over the years. 

23. A Song That You Cannot Stand To Listen To - Arrrrgh so so so many songs just make me cross!!!! The worst thing is when you hate a song on the first listen and it gets picked up by radio stations and played to death. I remember when Craig David - Fill Me In came out in late 99/early 00, I thought it was awful when I first heard it, unfortunately all our local radio stations initiated a policy of playing it once an hour for about 3 months by which time I was ready to commit murder every bloody time I heard it. Just thinking about that god awful song makes my blood boil now!

24. A Song You Have Danced To With Your Best Friend - I can't say that me and Helen particularly go in for dancing, however Helen has mastered the rocking-on-your-heels-to-make-it-look-like-you're-jumping technique which is incredibly useful at gigs when you're being implored to "jump jump" from the stage at the start of 30 Seconds To Mars - Night Of The Hunter

25. A Song You Could Listen To All Day Without Getting Tired Of - This is a toughie as I do try not to over-listen to even my favorite bands as the worst thing would be getting bored of them. I can go a week between listening to a Mars, Nirvana or Green Day track to make sure they still sound fresh to me. So whilst there are a lot of songs that if I let myself I would play on repeat I never do. And yes that is a cop out answer!

Love Jen

XxxxX

Turning Positive Thoughts Into Art Work!

I was reading this month's Craftseller magazine and in it's 'Blogger Of The Month' it featured Joanna Rickart and her crafting blog.

What caught my eye was a piece of art she'd created entitled "Life Is Good Because Of". I thought it was so colourful  and such a good idea that I decided to lovingly rip off the idea and make it my own.

The original piece in Craftseller

 

It was a really good fun project that made me smile all evening as I drew and coloured it. I intend to put it up on my wall to cheer me up on my bad days.

Getting Started

I was tempted to leave it in black & white 'cos it looked pretty cool already but I decided it really needed to pop with colour

The finished product!

A couple of closer up views -

Here's the full list of what's on the board -

Bunnies
Scones
Nutella
Bunting
Friends
Museums
Stars
Photography
Swallows
Walking Around Cities At Night
Top Gun
Cheese On Toast
Dr Martens
Nightmare Before Christmas
Vintage Dresses
Red Lipstick
Music
Summer
Hats
Polka Dots
Cherries
Sewing
Moomins
Sugar Skulls
Cross-Stitch
Nail Polish
Reading
Dream Catchers
Hello Kitty
Alice In Wonderland
Steampunk
F1
Airshows
Fireworks
Pinterest
Vampires
Naps
Family
1920s
Art Nouveau
Buttons
Beads
Unicorns
Chocolate
Eyeliner
Halloween
Biker Jackets
Cake
Keys
London
Renaissance Art
Bows
Pandas
Disney
BBQs
Fabric
Tea
America
Bad TV

I'd genuinely encourage everyone to have a go at making something similar. It's really good fun and you end up with something pretty to hang on the wall ... marvelous!

Love Jen
XxxxX

Ps you can find Miss Jo Jangles on Pinterest  and Facebook

Greetings From 2am

Greetings from 2am.

I'm wide awake as you may have guessed. Being awake of course means that my brain is well awake too and tonight it's doing lots of thinking.

At the moment it's doing a pretty good job of telling me that my life is basically fucked. Which is most likely true.

I've been thinking a lot about work. At some point I'll have to go back. Will there still be a job for me? How the bloody hell am I going to cope with having to interact with that many people at once again? I spent this (actually technically yesterday) afternoon with Mum and her friends and I could barely keep up with the three of them and follow the conversation. How am I going to re-immerse myself into a team of 60?

I could quite happily never go back but that will achieve nothing. I can't just walk out of a perfectly good job, there is no way I will get another like this one. Plus in my current mental state no-one in their right mind would hire me.

I don't think I would be being over-dramatic in saying that I am broken. I feel like a quarter of the person I used to be (sadly not in size but ho hum). I honestly don't feel I have anything left to offer the world that's of any use. I'm not even saying that in a depressed 'woe is me' manner. It's a fact.

When í'm awake like this I get the opportunity to write endless mental lists of last words and thoughts, pondering what I want to be remembered by. Do I want to leave words forgiving bullies at school and work? Or would I rather leave an angry vengeful note stating explicitly what I think of them? Obviously any final words for my family and friends would be nothing but love because that's what they are to me and that's what I've always received from them.

I'm not saying that I'm planning on taking my life by any means, I need to make that very clear. But it's amazing how much clarity you get at this time of night.
I can think of these things in an orderly manner, detached of emotion. I can plan out instructions of where I want any money I have to go, who I want my possessions to go to (hope you have room for all the Mars junk Helen :p) and the stipulation that the buns stay here.

I guess actually rather than being morose and planning any kind of demise it's more of an acceptance that my condition will only allow me to exist rather than live a life. The hopes and dreams I still clung onto have long been put on the funeral pyre.

The silly thing is that despite not being able to sleep I am still devoid of any energy whatsoever. In the mornings I get up early to feed and clean out the girls and get them sorted for the day. Then I just go back to bed because there's no point to anything else.

My depressed mood seems to have gone and has been replaced by a numb nothingness which weirdly can be worse, in the same way that my hypomanic states can be, because of my increased restlessness and ability to go from happy to furious in under a second I'm far more likely to do something stupid then rather than when í'm depressed and lacking the energy to even lift my head.

Anyways that's enough mental meandering from me, I reckon there's a good chance that there's an episode of Ancient Aliens or the like awaiting me if I go downstairs and pop Sky on.

Thank god for all night TV!

Love Jen
XxxxX

Things That Go Bump (or not) In The Night

Anyone who knows me well will tell you that sleeping makes up a large part of my life, I love nothing more than a good afternoon nap, in fact I find I sleep better and more deeply than I do at night.

I've written before about when sleep turns on me with nightmares and anxiety dreams. What fascinates me is that grey area between waking and sleeping when elements of your dreams are still visible when you're awake.

I often have what I like to call "waking up hallucinations" when I have been in a light sleep and look up to my ceiling to see a giant spider casually wandering across, or a leaf unfurling from the bunting that hangs above my bed. These are a nightly occurance and I'm just used to them now (luckily I'm not scared of spiders really!).

The last couple of nights have been a little more disconcerting, I've woken in the middle of the night convinced that something is in my room poised to attack me. Even my logical middle of the night working things out is failing me here. It normally runs as thus-

1. Can you see anything in the room?

2. Is it morning?

3. Have the buns entered the house and are demanding breakfast?

4. Is the spectre likely to have dust allergies in which case there is no way it will be under the bed, a sneezing ghoul is not particularly effective.

5. If it's a burglar they would take one look at the mess of my room and run screaming rather that try and work their way through the mess to find valuables.

6. If I'm about to be abducted by aliens it doesn't say much for the cross section of humanity they've decided to study!

7. Finally if something is out there to disturb my slumber they really better be bearing tea!!!

I laugh and joke but it really is most disconcerting when your brain tries to convince you of a threat that doesn't exist. Worst is everytime I drift off to sleep I suddenly wake back up in a panic.
Of course my best weapon in all this is the volume of my snoring...........

Love Jen
XxxX

The Book Of Revelation (or why Lena Dunham's book may be the most important book I have ever read)

Over the last couple of days I have been devouring Lena Dunham's book "Not That Kind Of Girl" http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0008101264?cache=a74ac5f2d3b57917053067ccd75b2192&pi=AC_SX110_SY165&qid=1413587690&sr=8-1#ref=mp_s_a_1_1 and I genuinely think it may have been the most important book I have ever read.

For those of you unaware of who Lena Dunham is here's a helpful Wikipedia link  http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lena_Dunham. ; In my normal manner of living under a cultural rock I have only just finished season 2 of 'Girls' the semi-autobiographical tv series she writes, stars in and produces. I loved Girl's sometimes unflinching realistic take of what it's like to be a woman of my age in our society, albeit living in New York (jealous).

Whilst Girls is set in New York it doesn't share the same glossy finish that other shows I like such as Mad Men or See And The City have. In Girls the characters have more relatable experiences such as money worries, weird boyfriends, awkward sex and regular fallings out with friends. The character of Hannah played by and based on Dunham struck so many chords with me and my view on the world, especially upon arriving to a party announcing "I've really made an effort, see my shoes match my Dress".

So when I found out that she had written a book I jumped on Amazon to order it and I wasn't disappointed. Rather than a traditional A-Z autobiography "Not That Kind Of Girl" is divided into chapters on different topics which I personally found far more accessible.

After only a few pages I realised that Lena Dunham has a voice and outlook very similar to my own and a lot of shared experiences. From being an outcast at school with your only friends being a teacher (or dinner ladies in my case at Primary School on days when my friends decided to abandon me) to her feminist beliefs (it's not about women being better than men it's about us all being equal!).

More significantly Lena describes the often crippling OCD that she suffered from growing up (and continues to suffer from). She describes the spiralling thoughts, the strange phobias, the medication that made her fall asleep in lessons and her fears that her creativity and writing isn't good enough. I found myself punching the air in recognition with my own experiences of mental illness. We even share the exact same 'abandoned pets' anxiety dream in which we suddenly remembered that we have a shed full of neglected pets, I wake up from this dream utterly distraught on frequent occasions.

She also talks about the media and public's fascination with her ability to strip off for Girls on a regular basis with her non-Hollywood figure. As she puts it "Blake Lively doesn't get asked in every interview whether she feels brave for exposing her body". I find Dunham's refusal to entire the size zero starlet debate really refreshing. She sees her body as another vessel with which to convey her art and to me that's a beautiful thing.

What I like best about Lena's writing is that she doesn't attempt to give advice or preach to us readers. She doesn't claim to have the answers. She recounts her tales with humour and searing honesty. But the stories she does tell are important markers of the lives of women my age today, the post-bra burning, power dressing generation trying to carve out our places in the world.

Most of all, and to me the most important message, she shows that you can make positives out of bad experiences. She has used her talent as a writer to have the last laugh against bad boyfriends , mental illness and people who have treated her cruelly (my favourite chapter by far is the e-mails she wishes she'd written to various people, as someone who always thinks of the wittiest put downs about 3 hours after the argument it made me relieved I'm not the only one it happens to!).

So from an anxious, slightly nutty 27 year old woman, still battling a lot of demons, still getting over years-old bad experiences and still trying to hit my creative stride. Thank you Lena Dunham, you've made me feel far less alone and have given me a lot of hope.

Love Jen
XxxxX

Diary Of A Signed Off Blogger

Apologies for the lack of posts, seems that despite having uber amounts of time on my hands I still don't seem to fit any writing in.

My last post was back at the end of September, towards the end of my 2 week sign off from work. Well since then I've had an Occupational Health assessment which has deemed me still not fit to return to work so I'm now signed off until 7th November pending being signed back on so to speak. To be honest it's a massive relief knowing I still have some respite before I have to face everyone at work, lord knows where people think I am or what conclusions they've drawn from my absence!

As to whether I will be ready to return at the start of November is anyone's guess. Whilst my moods have stabilized from swinging back and forth (they've now just settled into a low, depressed status) my anxiety is still crazy. I've been having panic attacks when I've had any contact to do with work, e.g telephone calls confirming Occ Health appointments or the letter containing the report from my appointment that I received today.

I've also been doing a lot of thinking in between napping and re-watching all 6 seasons of Gossip Girl on Netflix (I blame my mental condition and how hot Blake Lively is!). I wonder if I'm mentally capable of carrying out my job anymore, Have these weeks I've been off because I couldn't cope signalled that maybe I'm just not cut out for my job? But if I can't do my job then what can I do?
The thought of being a supermarket checkout girl and having to interact with people makes me feel sick (it's hard enough having to go out and mix with the public when my friends and family have been dragging me out of the house). Is there anything I can do successfully anymore?

My brain is pretty much shot to bits from it's meltdown and the extra meds I'm having to take. Whilst I've re-discovered my love of reading whilst I've been off I can only manage a few chapters of a book or half a magazine at a time before my brain is exhausted. I had a flash of inspiration for a short story the other day but have only written a few paragraphs before my brain shut down and haven't been able to muster the interest or energy since.

To avoid making this entire post all insecure doom and gloom I must also describe the good days I've had whilst I've been off. Firstly I've been having lots of good old fashioned Tuesdays with Helen. When I was working part-time at the Library I had every Tuesday off which conveniently co-incided with Helen's day off each week. It's been a really nice highlight of each week going to town like we used to or crashing out in front of bad TV.

A few weeks ago I went over to Gosport to see Kay and spent a lovely day meeting the new additions to her furbaby family and then visiting 'her' tree at the natural burial centre where she will eventually rest. I'm so glad I went to the site with her, it's a beautiful, peaceful place with a really positive atmosphere which I know sounds odd. I can understand why it appeals to so many people.

Me with Kay's tree

Kay and Millie Moo

Another brilliant day out was with Mum and Dad to Brooklands Museum, despite the pouring rain and the minor heart attack when I misplaced my phone (thank you again to the man who found it and rang Dad) it was a fantastic day out. The highlight was going on the Concorde they had there, flying on Concorde has always been on my bucket list and this was genuinely a dream come true. I found myself quite choked up knowing that these magnificent machines are grounded when they still had so many years of life left in them. 

The museum also focuses on British car racing's history, Brooklands had the first purpose-built car racing track in the world which we walked on. It also had an exhibition of loads of Formula 1 memorabilia so two of my biggest geeking subjects were well covered! What I also loved about the museum was the sheer enthusiasm of the volunteers there and the love they clearly had for their charges. Here's a few photos of the day -

Me on Concorde!

Mum and Dad next to one of Concorde's Rolls Royce Olympus engines, for the fact fans our there these engines were developed from the same used on one of my other favorite aircraft, the AVRO Vulcan.

Dad on the race track

Inside Concorde

Mum with Concorde

Yes this is a padded TV on a VC10 formally owned by the Sultan of Oman

Other good days and evenings out have been watching Eastbourne's annual bonfire parade and being really pleased with the photos I got of the fireworks on my SLR camera. 

Not bad huh?

Hilary, James, Barry & Luke indulging their inner pyromaniacs (big congrats to Luke and Barry on your engagement too!)

We also celebrated Chris's 23rd birthday, being the cool older sister and friend that we are me and Helen have got him a track day experience where he can choose from karting, super cars etc I can't wait!! We had a meal out with Vana's family which involved a home made Very Hungry Caterpillar cake that ended up being named Uncle Darren (very long story).

Me and Helen

Uncle Darren!

Chris and Vana with Uncle Darren

I've also bid a sad farewell to my Blackberry, you may all mock but I've been using Blackberrys since 2008 and have loved each and every one (well aside from the crappy flip one that kept re-setting itself at 4 o'clock every day) so it's a real end of an era for me. I've pledged my allegiance to a Sony Xperia and so far I have to grudgingly admit I'm pretty impressed. It has a 20MP camera which means I've been able to take photos like this of a lightening storm we had the other night -

 

As it's flimsier than my Blackberry I've had to get it a case which has given me the excuse to customise it in a Steampunk manner -

Finally a use for all those old watch parts!

I've been doing a lot of crafting, mainly cross-stitch which is helping to relax my fried brain. With Halloween coming up I've been concentrating on decorations to take to Gem's on Halloween evening and to Luke & Barry's the following night. 

Nightmare Before Christmas drawings to be made into bunting

Halloween Wreath

Black Cat Cross-stitch

I also have loads more decoration ideas up my sleeve which should prevent me from resorting to the ultimate barrel-scrape of becoming a Jeremy Kyle viewer!

Love Jen

XxxX