Off Down The Mine!

In a more positive blog, today I want to share a website I came across about living with BPD. I initially was trawling the internet to see if I could find any advice about working when you have BPD since my job is seriously on the line at the moment. This website flashed up, it’s an American site but the advice is applicable to anyone - https://www.verywell.com/borderline-personality-disorder-4014754 .

It covers every kind of subtopic you can think of such as coping with stress, avoiding triggers and to more ‘out there’ topics such as “what is splitting?” (something I seem to suffer from – basically ‘all or nothing thinking’ ) https://www.verywell.com/what-is-splitting-425210 and debating whether Mindfullness is a useful tool (didn’t work for me as my brain doesn’t do calm!).

 I was especially interested in what they had to say about the kind of work/jobs that suited people with BPD and they had a theoretical case study which sounded quite familiar to my experiences.

 The New Job—From a Happy Start to an Angry End

Bruce is always very excited when he begins a new job. He tells everyone he sees how fulfilling the work is, and for the first few weeks, he cannot say enough about how much he likes his boss and co-workers. He talks up the company and shares his dreams about moving into more and more responsible roles.

However, after only a short time, Bruce begins to feel that his boss is "out to get him." He perceives every work request or direction as an unfair criticism. He also becomes increasingly frustrated about working with his co-workers. He complains about what he sees as their lacklustre efforts that no one else seems to notice or care about.

By this time, it's clear to Bruce that his supervisors and co-workers don't like him and are picking on him.

Eventually, Bruce comes to believe that the people at the office are trying to find reasons to fire him, and he reacts in a rage. He yells and swears at his boss while complaining about how unfair the situation is and "always has been." His angry outburst and disrespect toward his boss can only end one way: Bruce is let go to search for another new job. There is further detail here https://www.verywell.com/example-of-bpd-at-work-425151

This is scarily similar to my workplace experiences and does lead me to wonder if I’m actually the problem or at fault for a lot of the bad experiences I’ve had? My difficulty concentrating caused loads of problems at my last job and I’m now unsure if I really was being bullied at CMS/Veritek (although I’m still hedging towards it ).

 I’m really glad I found the site though as it seems that it’ll be a mine of useful information and I intend to dig deep!

 

Love Jen

XxxX