Well as predicted in the 'Buzzing Brain' blog from Tuesday my mood has crashed. At exactly 7.45 on Tuesday evening my mind flipped into OCD overdrive.
I spent a large amount of yesterday trying to sleep it off, like you would a migrane or hangover and for a time I did feel better.
Unfortunately last night I was awake from 3am because of a mahoosive thunder storm. Normally I love a good storm and they don't even bother me that much at night but when you haven't slept properly for 5 nights it's really not funny. A lack of sleep combined with a manic mood, hormone shifts and general stress is the perfect mix of ingredients for a OCD stew.
I hate having no control over what my brain does, with normal anxiety I can sometimes talk myself down but OCD is far sneaker and more slippery than that and works quite cheerfully around everything that you try and throw at it.
The weather really hasn't helped today either, it was supposed to be the first of the 4 day airshow but because of the thunder and low cloud there was no chance at all of anything flying. So I'm utterly gutted as you can imagine, plane geekery is one of my main crutches when times get tough.
I managed to have a nap this afternoon and felt pretty good when I woke up but my anxiety has wormed it's way back in. It's not 'quite' OCD level at the moment but it's pretty unpleasant this evening I have to be honest.
Fingers crossed for mental and physical sunshine tomorrow.
Love Jen
XxxX
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