This morning on the news there's been talk about zero hours work contracts with the boss of McDonalds in the UK confirming that they will continue to work with this contract type. In this case it seems pretty fair as staff receive their hours 2 weeks in advance. Obviously there are widely reported abuses of such contracts in other companies with examples of staff turning up to work only to be told they aren't required that day!
It must be incredibly frustrating having paid to get to work, either via public transport or your own fuel costs, I've only had one experience when I worked at Asda on a weekend contract and they gave me a Saturday off as my "floating" day off that staff are given each year but forgot to tell me! Luckily I only had to walk around the corner to get home! I'm on a zero hours contract in my job on the staff bank at the hospital but I'm one of the lucky people who benefits from this kind of contract.
Going back to working on the staff bank has made me realise that I actually have a massive fear of being trapped or commited to situations. When I worked in the records library back in 2010-2011 it was also on the staff bank and although I was restricted to 3 days a week by the end of my time there I loved it as I could arrange my days around any time off I needed. Whilst I couldn't work that little now with bills and my credit card and my drive to bump my savings up, back then it was ideal.
Right now I work a 4 and a half day week, with the half day off being through my choice on a Tuesday afternoon to co-incide with Helen's day off. Basically I don't get paid what I don't work, which means that when I take days off I take into account that I will have to budget a bit more carefully the following month. I earn a hell of a lot less that I did at my last job but in a way it hasn't made nearly as much difference as I thought it might. I was earning an extra £3/400 each month before and looking back I realise how much of it I was squandering when I should have been saving it or chipping off of my card (not that I have a massive amount on it).
I'm obviously buying a lot less especially clothes but I find I'm using things a lot more especially my pretty vintage style dresses which I wear to work a lot. It's amazing how a boring day can be brightened by a tea dress! Days out don't happen quite as often but it makes me appreciate them even more when I do have them. Money can often be a bit tight but I budget as best I can per week and as yet I've not run out of money at the end of the month ...... yet.....
I feel free in this job, I can have time off when I want so long as I let them know a few days in advance or crucially when I need it if I nosedive again. I'm not being constantly scrutinised and people are genuinely pleased to see me each day. I've been assured that there'll be work for me as long as I want it, which suits me as I love the idea of a "permanent temporay job". It means that I'm likely to move around different departments and learn new aspects of the hospital. So long as I don't end up on reception again! it's just nice knowing that I'm not being forced into working with anyone or doing anything I'll be stuck with for the next few years!
It's the same with being in a relationship, when I split up with my fiancee Adi 4 years ago although I was absolutely gutted there was a tiny part of me that was relieved. I'd begun to stretch my wings once again after years of being depressed and satisfied to sit at home doing nothing save the odd concert or walk around Brighton or London if I was really lucky! There's only so many times you can stand watching someone play Grand Theft Auto! When we first got together all I wanted to do was get married and have kids to the point of desperation!
The wing stretching didn't sit particularly well and there was a lot of sulking and attempts at ultimatums. It's lucky we ended it when we did else we'd have just gotten bitter and ended up hating each other which is not healthy when leaving a relationship. Ending mutually whilst not as 'friends' as such made it a lot easier. It's incredibly lucky that marriage and kids never happened really!
Nowadays I really can't think of anything worse than being in a relationship let alone having kids. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against it, seeing my friends in loving relationships and with kids makes me really happy, but it's just not for me. Of course I do have days when I feel lonely and unattractive (especially since I've had not a flicker of male interest in me since I've been single) but this is counteracted the mornings I wake up from nightmares that I have a partner and am desperately trying to get out of the relationship! I know that relatonships involve give and take and my relationship probably wasn't the healthiest in the respect that everything was centered around his wants and needs, but because I've never had much self confidence the thought of someone being able to love me and even find me attractive negated that.
I guess years of being in a relationship and pretty much devoting my time to pleasing the other person without paying attention to myself, or putting up with bad working environments has sent me running to the hills at the thought of permanence or being tied down! It's also allowed me to be occasionally selfish for the first time ever, whilst I will always put wants and needs of my family and friends first but I will sometimes say no or if I want to do or see something just do it.
I'm not sure if that's selfishness or just emerging independence?
Love Jen
XxxX
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