I can't say too much because the issue relates to a work issue but basically I've made some big mistakes that have bad implications for the rest of my team.
I try hard to concentrate on my tasks every day but on days when my brain is about 100 miles away from my body and racing at a few thousand miles an hour it's nigh on impossible. On days like this I try to do tasks that are fairly difficult to fuck up such as filing or printing bits out.
I don't think I'd be as bothered if I didn't care so much about my job or the people I work with. I feel terrible that I have let down people who have always been incredibly supportive of me and my problems.
I try to argue with myself that I can live a 'normal' life with my mental health problems, but it's increasingly becoming clear that it may not be the case. If I can cause these many problems in a relatively stress-free position what hope does that hold out for career progression? For any kind of success?
If I could tear out the useless matter inside my head then I would. It's doing me no good and just compounding the fact that I'm dumbed down from years of the wrong medication and just plain stupid.
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