So Mum and I like to go swimming once a week (yep I get my blubbery form into a swimming costume and hope not to get harpooned) and towards the end of our swim one of the lifeguards came over and asked me if I went to the same school as he did. The answer was of course yes, although I did wittily say "yes for my sins" (more on that later)
And yes, he was part of the crowd who made my life a living hell and was there when I got groped in front of a class of 28 other 11 year olds and laughed along with them. And here he is now greeting me like an old friend.
He said "awww you don't look any different" which rankles a huge amount as I've spent most of my post-school life trying to change the appearance of who I was then, I've spent a lot of sterling on tattoos, piercings, cool goth clothes to cover up that girl. I also noted the irony of talking to him whilst in a swimsuit in my obese state with marks of my arms and legs being the legacy of those 5 years of hell and the effect its had on my mental health for the best part of 20 years.
I politely asked if he still saw anyone from school and he mentioned one person who goes to the same church as him 🤦🏻♀️. He then asked if I went because of my 'sins' quip 🤣. He finished off our conversation saying that next time we bump into each other he wanted to get my number so we could go for a cup of tea 😱. So many WTFs from that, firstly am I supposed to suddenly be all friendly with someone who was a complete cunt to me. Secondly why the hell would he want to spend time with someone who he hated for 5 years and thirdly and most hilariously I'm a full blown tarot-reading witch with an alter and loads of pretty and interesting books on the history of magic and the occult.
As amusing as it is, I'm feeling horrible and unsettled and sick. A flood of memories have come back, ones that I don't want and emotions that I really don't need right now.....
Love Jen
XxxX
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