Autumn Blues

It's coming up to the time of year that I dread. The arrival of Autumn with winter hot on it's heels (or should that be cold on it's heels?). To me Autumn represents the death of the one season of the year that I like. Everything is so much easier in the summer. I benefit from the vitamin D I collect from days and evenings spent in the garden with the bunnies. Doing outdoor things - walking home from work, BBQs, festivals & outdoor gigs, airshows the list goes on. And then Autumn arrives to spoil the party.

People say that Autumn is beautiful, and whilst I agree that the colours are indeed nice they also represent the death of summer. To me summer always metaphorically ends on the Sunday of Airbourne, no matter what the weather does. I know most people have found the weather this week too much but I love it in its muggy, sweaty glory. I don't care what people say, SAD most definitely exists and I suffer from it. The only good point of winter is Halloween.  Not even the September issue of Vogue makes it any easier!

With the start of September comes the inevitable back to school. As you all know for me school was 5 years of hell. The 6 weeks of summer provided blissful respite and a chance at some recovery. When we went on our annual summer holiday to France for the last 2 weeks of August I would always feel a wrench as I knew after those 14/15 days, those 360 hours and 216000 minutes I would be staring down the barrel of 9 and a half months of misery.

September/October are the months that I struggle most with my symptoms, they turn to depression and anxiety and make it hard to see the positive of 7/8 months of grey and rain.

It's the time of year that I'm most likely to be signed off of work. It's the time of year I got royally fucked over at CMS with the Parts Supervisor job, same with when I was working for the CHC Team when the 'Scapegoating Of Jen' really took off.

I'm hoping that we have an Indian summer in the manner of 2014 to try and ease the transition somewhat but it's doubtful since the mere sight of school uniforms lined up in shops makes me feel sick, bringing back so many memories. 

So to those of you who do enjoy this time of year I genuinely hope it's a good Autumn full of colour, misty mornings and cool nights.

I on the other hand will see you next summer!

Love Jen
XxxX