I realised that I haven't reported back from my Psychiatrist appointment the week before last. What with the most important day of the year (Halloween) following in quick succesion my mind was obviously taken up with higher matters!
The appointment went as well as an appointment discussing someone's broken mind can go. Helen came with me which was good as she can provide outside insight into behaviours I exhibit or things I saw that seem normal to me but are actually not!
We discussed how the OCD element of my problems has been ruling my life over the last few months. Helen pointed out that it all got really bad after the Shoreham disaster, I guess it completely threw me when something so important to me is affected in that way. I also mentioned the retirement of the Vulcan, expecting to be laughed at but as he pointed out it's a passion of mine so the OCD would 'go for' it. Ditto with my music OCDs and also my worrying about the bunnies.
My mood is still quite up and down - not helped by the OCD attacks so my mood stabiliser Lamotrigine has been increased to 300MG. I also need to go to my GP to get some Propranolol for the anxiety that then spills into OCD *adds to to do list*. He asked about my general behaviours and it turns out that I'm not very good at picking up or working within social queues and situations. As well as quickly flipping into being angry (shame I don't go giant and green, although I don't think purple shorts would suit me!) Which apparently is classic Borderline behaviour.
Me being me I completely forgot to ask about any of the therapies I researched and whether they're availble here, which I highly doubt to be honest. And also what the 'prognosis' is for getting myself under control and if it's at all possible. So I'm going to construct a letter and whizz it off to them in the next few days.
Here's hoping that the meds increase starts to have a positive effect, obviously aside from my weird night time hallucinations of a 'prescence' standing over me, it's lucky it's not a real ghost/alien/shadow person as it would seriously not want to face the wrath of Jen when her (already poor) sleep is distrubed!.
Love Jen
XxxX
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