Looks like things are back to normal after my cheeriness following Dunsfold Airshow a couple of weeks ago (See my previous blog for plenty of geeking) and I’m back on a slippery slope (points to whoever got the Oasis song pun I used for the title of my blog!).
My mood is crap again and I’m back to hardly working again which means that my savings are going down the pan to pay for food and cover my direct debits. This also means that should any gigs or events come up that I want to go to it’s not gonna happen due to my stupid self not being able to cope with the simplest job with lovely work colleagues. Earning on average of £70 a week when I manage even one day is just not sustainable. I’m having to look at going to Citizen’s Advice to see if I’m entitled to any financial help for being ill, which I hate as I feel like I’m one of those Daily Mail-hated wasters with their hands out expecting the state to pay for them.
My weight isn’t doing so great either, I can post all the body-positive photos on my Instagram @jenraefrances that I want but the fact of the matter is that I’ve put on 2 kilos since Christmas because my inner-pig has re-emerged with a vengeance and I’m just too damn tired to walk anywhere. I know the greed and tiredness is mood-related too and the weight that I’ve put on just makes me feel sick and disgusted with myself.
I don’t know what the answer is, I should be in a good place – I enjoy my job, have a puppy who’s always pleased to see me and a rabbit currently tolerating me, my Uncle coming to stay at Christmas and Airbourne and Duxford airshows to look forward too. I just feel so pathetic and whiny at the moment and feel bad for it when everyone is doing their best to help me.
Hopefully the next blog will be more positive
Love Jen
XxxX
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