An utterly laughable thing has happened to me. Whilst in the process of getting to grips with my new phone (basically a larger version of my old one but this is Jen the technophobe) and having a swear at it a Facebook notification popped up that made me swear even more but in disbelief.
I've been added to a group trying to arrange a 'class of 2003' school reunion, no really. One of the 'in-crowd', who had no interest whatsoever in anyone outside her group is trying to arrange a get together at the end of the year, perhaps a case of 30s related nostalgia? A few people have posted in the group saying how lovely it would be, what makes me laugh is that most of these people had nothing to do with each other back at school and most times didn't even like each other.
I'm wondering what the psychology is behind school reunions? Is it an opportunity for the popular kids to relieve their glory days? Or if you weren't friends with people why would you suddenly want to meet up with them 15 years later?
My natural curiosity (read nosiness) got the better of me and I had a look through a lot of the profiles (seriously people need to learn to lock their Facebook's down), what gets me is that most of the people who picked on me have profiles full of photos of their weddings, their kids, their achievements etc. I know people only post 'the best' on their profile (it's social spin really I guess) but the bitter part of me fumes that they live the lives that their actions have denied me.
Due to my illness - exacerbated, if not caused, by their actions I can't have relationships due to the nature of my personality disorder, the hormones caused by pregnancy & post-pregnancy are incredibly dangerous to me, my body issues (and no before you ask it's not as simple as 'just lose some weight' or 'give up sugar' or the most irritating 'why don't you do more excercise') - they go deep, I've been between a size 8 when I didn't eat and a current size 20 where I over-eat to try and compensate for the misery in my head. I also don't feel it's worth looking after myself, I'm not worthy of care.
So it really grates seeing the people who mocked me for my looks, spread sick rumours about me, thought it was funny to grope me and kick me, felt it was acceptable to shoot at me with BB Gun pellets and shower the back of my head with broken pieces of pencil, coins and anything else to hand (what a waste of stationary!!). The theory of Karma is that your actions come back threefold, so why are they so happy, successful, still think and pretty?
Now let me consider that invitation ....
Love Jen
XxxX
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