Basket Case

"Do you have the time? To listen to me whine?" Sings Billie-Joe Armstrong in Green Day's 'Basket Case' and whilst I always like to link stuff to my favorite artists sometimes their music seems more profound and reflective of how I feel.



You may accuse me of being "one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the core no doubt about it" and at this moment you'd be right. My anxiety is at crazy levels once again. I took the course of Citalopram my GP prescribed and it did start to balance me out and take my anxiety down a few notches to a far more bearable level.



Now my anxiety is not only making me think and act like a freak, with all my OCD-type thoughts coming back. I'm having panic attacks just walking round Asda at lunchtime, worrying constantly about things that really don't matter that my mind just decides to fix on for no apparent reason. I have horrible visions of bad things happening to Estelle and Esme that leave me close to tears. I feel breathless and dizzy all the time and my moods are cycling round like crazy, from crazy happy to really low in a matter of minute,s once more.



I know what's causing the extra anxiety and therein lies the problem. It's centered on something happening at work that I can't discuss on here for obvious reasons. But basically I feel backed into a corner and have no way out. Stress is one of the worse things you can give a Bipolarbear along with excess alcohol or drugs (and at this point in time both feel incredibly tempting!). It sends us haywire along with our moods and actions.



So at the moment "my mind plays tricks on me" constantly, something needs to give before I go crazy.



Love Jen

XxxX